Sanuki no Suke’s Diary: Memories of the Imperial Palace (1)

 

     And so, in August, it is decided that the new Emperor will officially move to the Imperial Palace on the twenty-first day of the month. Everyone around me is swept up in the bustle of preparations. I know well that this is to be the young Emperor's grand entry into the palace; yet, I also know that seeing the palace grounds completely unchanged from the days of the late Emperor will break my heart and unleash a torrent of tears. Therefore, I have no intention of going.

     However, I receive a message from Fujiwara Mitsuko: "The Retired Emperor has commanded that all ladies appropriate for the occasion must report for service. You must attend."

     I reply, "Regarding the command, I shall send only the young maids who have already been assigned to carry the ritual fire and water from here. I myself will not report for service."

To this, she urges, "Indeed, your grief is entirely understandable. Yet, this is an express order from the Retired Emperor. Refusing it might make it seem as though you harbor resentment. You must endure this and come after all."

     Pressured by her words, I finally relent and prepare to go, bitterly reflecting, “Is even a small wish like this beyond my own control?”

     On the day of the relocation, the Minister of the Interior attends to the young Emperor. In the Asagarei breakfast room, he rolls up the blinds and ties the Emperor’s hair into a topknot. Watching this ritual, I am struck by a profound wave of emotion—the young Emperor looks so heartbreakingly like the late Emperor.

     The procession begins after dark. I accompany them, following closely behind in the carriage. As soon as we enter the Nakamikadogomon gate, just as I expected, my heart is filled with emotion. The other day, on my way to visit Koryu-ji Temple, I peeked inside the gate, and at the time I thought, "This is the gate I used to come and go through in the morning and in the evening." The late Emperor had moved to Horikawain Residence after December 20th of the year before last, and I had left the palace too. I had never dreamed that day would be my last. I thought, "No matter what happens now, I will never enter the palace in this world again." But contrary to my expectations, I find myself back here again. Even though I am the very same person who vowed never to return, here I am, and it is truly painful and sad.

     When I arrive at the Imperial Palace, I learn that my chambers are the former chambers of Fujiwara Ieko. During the day, Mitsuko is in her chambers, and I go there with the imperial belongings. I pass the Kurabeya room, and Mitsuko’s chambers are a little nearer to the center of the palace.