Sanuki no Suke’s Diary: Days of Imperial Mourning (10)

 

     Since the memorial services for the first anniversary of the late Emperor’s passing were completed, the national mourning period officially came to an end on the twenty-fifth day. All the courtiers shed their somber mourning garments. For the past year, the Emperor's residence had been shrouded with plain, unadorned blinds and screens, but these were now entirely removed. The curtains in the night chambers, which had been absent for months, were re-erected just as before. The entire palace was restored to its former state—magnificent, radiant, and without a single trace of change.

     The Regent, along with the other courtiers and chamberlains, changed into their formal court attire, letting the long tassels of their crowns hang down. The ladies-in-waiting, each eager to outshine the other in beauty, lined up like celestial beings in a vibrant palette of colors. It was a stark contrast to the bleak months gone by, filling the air with a fresh, celebratory renewal. Their hairpins and ties, strictly white during the mourning period, were now being prepared in the customary dark purple.

     The Regent entered the palace properly dressed in his ceremonial attire and summoned me, saying, "Come immediately." When I arrived, he was helping the new Emperor dress himself. The Emperor was dressed so beautifully, in a fine, exquisite robe. However, as I adjusted the hem of the robe, I was immediately reminded of the late Emperor. I remembered so vividly how he would appear each day to pay his respects at the lime altar, dressed in that exact manner.

     "The officials have arrived. It must be time," the Regent said, urging the Emperor to hurry. But I could not possibly attend the ceremony without changing out of my own mourning clothes, so I withdrew. Yet, even after returning to my chambers, I did not feel like changing immediately.

     “Should I really take off these mourning clothes?” I thought. “I have considered them my only physical memento of the late Emperor. It would be truly heartbreaking to take them off. Everyone in the country—both those who were sincere towards the Emperor and those who were not—wore mourning. For those of us who served him so closely to cast them aside at the exact same moment as everyone else… it would be wrong.” I felt deeply reluctant to change. However, as it was the unyielding custom of the court, I reluctantly took them off.

Yoshimine Munesada (816–890) became a monk and lived in seclusion after the death of Emperor Ninmyo (810–850). He composed the following poem when people shed their mourning clothes the following year:

While all the world casts off their robes of woe,

And changes into garments of splendid hue,

I am bound to this monk’s attire, unable to let it go—

If only these endless tears would dry up, too.