Sanuki no Suke’s Diary (22)

 

     Suddenly, something was thrown through the sliding door.  I looked to see what it was, and saw a person crouching there, wearing the indigo-and-safflower colored outer garment I had left in my room.  It was my sister, Fujiwara Kenshi, who had come to visit after hearing of the Emperor's death.

     "Oh, how pitiful.  I will never again be able to see you alive.  Why did you avoid me and not call me?  I cared for you without fail, even through your long illness.  Now, at the very last moment, I have fallen ill myself.  I regret my misfortune."

     She continued crying.

     I sat quietly beside him, pressing the fine quality crepe paper I had used to wipe the sweat from his face against my face.  "Until now, I have thought that my love for the Emperor was just as strong as those crying people's, but perhaps mine was inferior, for I was unable to cry out loud like them," I realized.