Sanuki no Suke’s Diary (19)

 

     When Fujiwara Shishi returned, the Emperor placed his foot on my body and put his hand around my neck, and I couldn’t move.  Shishi waited at his feet, just as I had been sitting there.  As usual, I offered him ice and, when asked, wiped away his sweat.  While I was wiping around the sidelocks with the crepe paper by the bedside, he said, 

"Oh, I am in terrible pain.  I am going to die," and chanted,

"Namu Amida Butsu, Namu Amida Butsu."

     Hearing this, I realized that when the Emperor was in good health, even the subordinates in each department would consider chanting the Nembutsu to be a bad omen.  But hearing it fluently coming from his own mouth was so unexpected that I began to wonder if I was dreaming, and tears welled up in my eyes.  The Chancellor leaned close to the Emperor's face and said, "Pray to Buddha.  I heard you have copied the Great Prajnaparamita Sutra in your own hand.  Where is it?  Please meditate on it carefully."

     The Emperor replied, 

"It should be in the priests’ waiting room."  Hearing this, the Chancellor left, and came back with it.

     He showed it to the Emperor, asking, "Is this it?" and the Emperor said, 

"This is it."  Even with the sutra,

"It's getting more and more painful,"

he said, and it seemed his chest was heaving violently.

     He uttered many truly noble words, such as, 

"I am on the verge of death.  Amaterasu Omikami, please help me.  Namu Byodo Taiko Komyo Hokke,"

but he still said,

"Oh, I am in unbearable pain.  Please rise me up."

     So I got up and helped him up.  Usually, he was so heavy and difficult to lift, but now he was lifted with ease.

     Fujiwara Ieko was sitting behind the Emperor.  He leaned his back against her and I held his hand.  His arm felt cool against my skin.  "To be touched so coldly in such hot weather," I thought, feeling both suspicious and shocked.